the WENDELIN chronicles
by Zergface
Summary: canadian man attempts to walk to the store


Hey what's up gamers it's another self insert hope you enjoy. **S** **T** **O** **P**

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It was a late night and I, Wendelin, am happy and safe. I was sitting in my room playing my favorite game on my super cool computer, and everything was good.

I was getting thirsty, so I reached over into my mini-fridge to pull out a Monster energy drink. It was late at night and I was a little tired. As always, a little drink would do wonders on a late night. Late at night, things were good.

As I went back to play my late-night game, I heard a strange voice. Who, at this late hour, would interrupt my Roblox like that?

 **SAVE OUR WORLD!**

Strange. I wasn't in a voice call. How was I hearing a voice?

 **SAVE US!**

Rubbing my chin, I wondered what they meant. I was confused!

Suddenly, I heard a beep from my screen. This wasn't Roblox! I squinted and was surprised at what I saw. A text box!

 **DO YOU WANT TO BE A HERO? ANSWER YES OR NO.**

There were two options on the screen. Yes and no.

Thinking briefly to myself, I wondered what would happen if I said yes.

After another second of thought, I decided to say no. Pow!

 **WAIT. WHAT? YOU SAID NO?**

I was truly happy as I took a sip from my Monster energy drink. When would I get back to playing Roblox? Only time will tell.

I tried dragging the box away from the screen, but it didn't want to budge. I wanted to play my Roblox!

 **LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN. DO YOU WANT TO SAVE OUR WORLD? CHOOSE YES OR NO.**

I clicked on 'no.'

That's when I heard the voice again.

 **HEY! CLICK YES, YOU DUMBASS.**

The option appeared again, so I took off my headphones and stepped out of my chair without a second thought. Deciding to take a break from my 48 hour sleep deprivation gaming marathon, I wondered if these boxes would disappear if I just took a break.

Holding my Monster energy drink, I felt that it would be cool to run to the local Tim Horton's coffee place. I put my slippers on and stepped out of my house.

Although it was on the warmer side for Canada, the blizzard started piling snow on my head as I walked outside in my shorts and tank-top. With my drink in hand, I walked through the Canadian blizzard forest, making sure to keep the snow out of my slippers as I waded through 10 foot deep snow.

Arriving at the Tim Hortons, I was relieved to see they were still open at this hour. I walked to the cashier and decided to purchase a coffee. As the cashier was half dead and didn't want to be there, his untimely demise at the coffee machine was unfortunate, but not unexpected.

I stole another Monster energy drink and walked home, this time avoiding the giant pit of death in the backyard, and past the killer moose farm.

The moment I had stepped past the flaming ice spire was the moment I knew something was wrong.

It might have been the fact that I saw giant dragons fighting little girls in the distance, or that a blue slop thing was eating my toes.

But… my house was gone! Where did it go?

"Where's my house?" I placed a hand on my hip as I scanned the horizon.

"It should be here somewhere." With renewed composure, I walked to the nearby city. After all, that's what all normal people do.

Now, traveling through a Canadian land on a strange beaten path, I heard a voice call out in the distance.

"Help! Help!" They cried out for help.

As my ears were frozen, I didn't hear them, nor did I even care.

It didn't take long to make it to the city, where I sold my empty Monster energy can for a profit. It was a good time.

Until a purple-haired girl fell from the sky and landed on a parked car in front of me, crashing through the hood of the car and sending glass everywhere. With blood staining the snow, I shrugged and walked in to the largest building in the city.

Such was life in Lowee.

After a day, Wendelin had no money and starved to death as he tried breaking into the Basilicom after hours. Or maybe it was the liberal use of bullets on his corpse. Either way, he was dead, so there was no need to stop shooting.

Then Tainted died.

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 **AN**

 **Eat peen**

 **This was written by a low-ranked nippolious us army munchkin samurai and a dozen goblins**

 _ **In memorandum:**_

 **Wendelin, a man of questionable honor and even more questionable ethics**


End file.
